Never, ever, ever promise Ochun something you cannot give.
That was the clearest lesson from a reading I conducted and from what I experienced afterward. When Ochun fulfills her part of an agreement, she expects the promise made to her to be fulfilled. She remembers what she has given, and she will hold people accountable for what they have agreed to give in return.
I speak about this with deep love for her. Ochun is my mother. She came to save me, and my relationship with her is very close, emotionally and spiritually. That love is part of why I take this lesson so seriously.
An obligation from more than 25 years ago
A client experiencing difficulties in a relationship had gone to an African priest more than 25 years earlier. A ceremony had been performed, but the client did not fully understand what had happened or what had been promised.
During the present diloggún reading, which came in Osogbo Ikú, I understood Elegua to identify a debt to Ochun. There was an obligation connected to that earlier work that remained unresolved.
The client's incomplete understanding of the original ceremony is part of this account. What had been promised was not something she had clearly understood. Yet the message I received in the shells was that an obligation remained and had to be addressed.
In that reading, the promised offering to Ochun had to be fulfilled before other spiritual work and blessings could move forward. Even the blessings offered through Elegua did not remove the debt. The reading brought us back to what remained owed to her.
More than 25 years had passed. As I understood the reading, the passage of time had not canceled the agreement.
That is a serious lesson about understanding what takes place in spiritual work. A person needs to know what is being promised and what will be required of them afterward. The ceremony and the obligations connected to it must be understood together.
What Ochun explained to me
While I was discussing the reading with my wife, I felt Ochun come into the room.
What she explained to me was direct. She holds people accountable because there is a contract. She has agreed to do something, she fulfills her part, and she expects the agreement to be honored in return.
If she gives what was asked of her, she expects to receive what was promised. There is respect in that exchange. Her help has value, and the promise made to her has meaning.
She also explained why she holds that agreement so firmly: she does not want to be taken advantage of.
Someone asks for her help. She comes, gives, and fulfills her part. Then the person receives what they wanted and leaves the promise unfulfilled. From what she conveyed to me, that is an attempt to take her generosity while disregarding her.
She will not allow it.
That was the heart of what I understood from her presence. She knows what she gives. She expects people who ask for it to respect her enough to keep their word.
Why she refuses to be taken for granted
Ochun is loving, sweet, and generous. She has so much to give. Those qualities are part of what makes her so extraordinary to me.
They are also part of why her firmness matters.
A person may see kindness and assume that they can keep taking. They may receive care and gradually stop valuing the person who provides it. They may believe that someone who loves them will continue to give regardless of how they behave.
Ochun does not accept that treatment. Her stern presentation makes her position clear. She expects the beauty and goodness of what she provides to be respected.
As I was trying to explain what I felt, I thought of a human experience: someone being taken advantage of, perhaps early in life, and making a firm decision never to allow it again. That was my own tentative comparison for the resolve I was describing. I was trying to put the feeling into words.
What came through clearly was her refusal to let anyone treat her as though her generosity makes her available for exploitation.
She leads by example. She wants her children to understand their value, too.
The beauty of liquid gold
When I see Ochun in my mind's eye, spiritually, she is extraordinarily beautiful.
She is royal. She is powerful. She dresses in liquid gold.
Those words are the closest I can come to describing how she appears to me. There is a beauty to her presence that is difficult to communicate to someone who has never experienced it. I can describe what I see and still feel that the description falls far short.
She might be spoken of as small, but nothing about her presence feels small to me. Her power, her beauty, and the dignity with which she carries herself are immense.
What she conveyed to me was that she understands her value. She wants people to understand it as well. Her presentation expresses the respect she expects for who she is and for what she brings.
She does not want her blessings belittled. She does not want the care she gives to become something people casually expect while forgetting what it means to receive it.
That is part of what I see in the liquid gold. I see Ochun presenting herself with the dignity she knows she deserves.
Why her visits are brief
After she left, I remarked on how briefly she stays.
She comes, makes her presence known, and leaves. As I was speaking about that, I felt her return.
She explained to me that if she stayed too long, people would begin to take her for granted. The value of her presence could become less apparent through familiarity. She does not want that to happen.
Her visits carry the same message as her insistence that promises be kept. What she offers matters. Her presence matters. The love, care, and blessings she brings should be appreciated.
She comes and leaves with respect, dignity, and the bearing of royalty. That is how I experience her.
The message stayed with me because it was consistent with everything else she had conveyed. She knows her value, and she does not permit others to diminish it.
The experience behind my words
I understand that some people may find it difficult to accept an account of seeing or speaking with Orisha. I am speaking from my own spiritual experience and from what has been affirmed for me within my religious life.
In Cuba, during an encounter involving Oduduwa, a spiritual presence came into the room. The elders recognized that presence and explained to me that the spirit had come to speak on my behalf.
They also affirmed that I could see Orisha and speak with them. Within my experience of Itá, that capacity was recognized and affirmed.
I consider it a special privilege. I am very fortunate, and I am grateful for it.
My relationship with Ochun is deeply personal. When I describe her presence, her beauty, or what she communicated to me, I am describing a relationship that carries tremendous meaning in my life.
I love her dearly. I also respect the seriousness of what she conveys.
Tears with happiness and laughter with anger
One of the ways I experience Ochun is through tears that come while I am speaking about something happy.
There can be love, joy, and gratitude in the conversation, and then the tears come. In those moments, I experience that emotion as her touch.
When I speak about Ochun's happiness, that is part of what I mean. Her tenderness can be deeply emotional. The love can be so strong that it brings tears.
Her anger, as I have experienced and understood it, can come with laughter.
She laughs at the person who believes they have been clever enough to take advantage of her. They think they have gotten away with something. They have no idea how serious a mistake they have made.
That is why I would never casually interpret her laughter as approval. In the experience I am describing, it can express anger at someone who believes they can disregard her and escape accountability.
Both the tenderness and the firmness belong in this account of her. I have tremendous love for her, and I do not underestimate her.
The example she sets for her children
Ochun's refusal to be taken advantage of also teaches something to her children.
Many of the children I am describing are sweet, kind, loving, and generous. They have goodness in them and a great deal to give. They want to help. They want to care for people.
That can make them vulnerable to someone who sees their generosity as an opportunity.
People can manipulate them into giving more than they can afford emotionally or spiritually. They can ridicule them, belittle them, or keep asking until the giving becomes harmful. Someone who wants to do good can be drawn into a situation in which that goodness is being used against them.
Ochun does not want to see that happen to her children.
She knows the goodness in them because, as I understand her, it comes from the same goodness she carries. She loves them fiercely and wants to protect what is beautiful in them.
Her example is to remain strong, be diligent, and stand your ground. You can be generous and still require respect. You can love someone and still hold them accountable for how they treat you.
She does not want her children to become pushovers. She does not want them to accept mistreatment. She does not want their kindness to become the reason they are harmed.
When I say she leads by example, this is what I mean. The respect she requires for herself is something she wants her children to understand in their own lives.
Their goodness deserves protection. They have value, and they should conduct themselves with that understanding.
Keep the promise you make
The warning I took from this experience is serious.
Do not promise Ochun something simply because you want her help in the moment. Do not ask her to come to your aid on the strength of your word and then disregard that word after she has fulfilled her part.
If you say you will provide, provide. If you say you will do something, do it.
In the reading I described, an unresolved obligation stood in the way of further spiritual work and blessings. As I understood the reading, further intervention could not remove the need to fulfill that obligation. The agreement with Ochun had to be addressed.
I understood the Osogbo Ikú in that reading as a grave warning. When I warn people against taking advantage of Ochun, I use strong words: it is like asking for death, or worse. That is how seriously I regard the consequences of crossing her.
You do not mess with Ochun.
You do not approach Ochun believing that her beauty or generosity makes her someone you can use. You approach her with respect for who she is, what she gives, and what you are asking of her.
Understand the promise before it is made. Recognize the obligation it creates. Honor it.
My love for Ochun
I cannot fully convey the beauty and magnitude of Ochun.
She is an extraordinarily powerful female deity. She is loving, gifted, and deeply protective. The people who have experienced her presence may understand something of what I am trying to express, even where words fall short.
She is my mother. She came to save me. She is very dear to my heart.
When I speak so firmly about respecting her, that conviction comes from the closeness I feel to her and the love I have for her. I know how much she gives. I know how much her children mean to her.
What stayed with me after this experience was her example: know your value, protect your goodness, and stand your ground. Take your agreements seriously. Give others the respect you expect for yourself.
And never, ever, ever promise Ochun something you cannot give.
I love you, Ochun.
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